I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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