I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
