They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize