Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
