I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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