i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
