1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
