You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
