u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
