The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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