dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
