So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
