i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
