I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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