Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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