Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Need sex. Gaining weight.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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