My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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