we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Come share oat with me in your robe
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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