IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
