Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
