so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize