I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
