I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
