TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
