I want to make a zoo with you.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
