we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize