It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you would pick up someone in the library
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
