No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
