So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
