My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize