I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
