walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
how does that bad decision feel?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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