I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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