is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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