Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
