I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
