i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
