Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
