i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
