Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
