we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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