youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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