I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
