He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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