PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
