i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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