i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
