Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
