Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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