why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
