I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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