I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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