i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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