its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
