he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
