just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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