I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
