just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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