its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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