YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize