They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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