Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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