Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
