so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
