That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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