Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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