did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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