I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize